


Cold Hand, Warm Heart

by Anonymous



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: BDSM, Breathplay, M/M, Safeword Use, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-19
Updated: 2014-04-19
Packaged: 2018-01-20 01:16:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1491325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve brings Bucky home. He wants it to be the way it used to be, only better. Bucky wants to give Steve everything he wants, within reason.  PWP.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cold Hand, Warm Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Post Winter Soldier, could be vaguely spoilery.
> 
> Response to this prompt: http://capkink.dreamwidth.org/1349.html?thread=9029#cmt9029 Prompt is spoilery, you get what it says on the tin.

Steve would never rush Bucky, but he wants things. He wants it to be the way it was before Bucky went off to war – only not the parts where Steve was sick and couldn’t work. He doesn’t miss the nights when Bucky lied about eating supper before he got home, so Steve should finish off the soup on his own.

He misses Bucky taking care of him in other ways, though. He misses the place he could go to when Bucky held him and nothing existed except their too-small bed and the two of them in it, Steve’s head tucked into Bucky’s chest.

Still, he’s kept a decent partition between all the stuff he thinks about and wants and maybe needs, and Bucky’s recovery – his reclamation from the stone-cold killer that he’d been molded into. When Steve thinks about what Hydra did to Bucky he truly regrets not killing Zola. If he thinks about it for very long he ends up in the big gym Stark upgraded for the Avengers’ use in the tower, beating the hell out of a punching bag that isn’t supposed to give out on him, but sometimes does.

Three months after Steve found Bucky and convinced him to come home, he reliably knows who Steve is. Six months after that, the psychologists and the scientists say that he can come home for real.

Home is the tower now. It made sense for the Avengers to stick close to one another in case the world needed saving, and Steve appreciated Stark more than he ever thought he would. He almost never feels the urge to call him Howard anymore.

Steve has an entire floor to himself and he’s set up a room for Bucky there. It’s only so he’ll be close-by in case Bucky needs him. Maybe a little because Steve needs to know that Bucky is safe.

“Here it is, Buck.” Steve opens the door to the guest room and waves Bucky in.

“Thanks, Cap.” Bucky steps inside and dropped his duffel bag into the big chair Steve had bought over the Internet.

Steve massages the back of his neck. “Well, I’ll leave you to settle in – there’s TV, small kitchen on this floor, big kitchen down two, like I showed you.”

“Steve.” Bucky is staring at him.

“Yeah?” Steve asks.

“I still don’t remember everything, I probably won’t ever get it all back.” Bucky sounds matter of fact.

“We don’t know, but that’s what the shrinks said.” Steve doesn’t know if he should try to reassure Bucky or comfort him or – .

“I remember this, though.”

Bucky steps into Steve’s space, curls his hand – his flesh and bone and blood hand – around Steve’s waist. Steve goes completely still as Bucky’s lips touch his, gently at first and then hard, and oh God. Steve’s eyes have been wide open the entire time, he realizes, as he watches Bucky’s eyes opening, and Bucky backing away from him.

“If you don’t still, that’s okay. But I wanted you to know that I do.” Bucky grins, that cocky smirk that sometimes made Steve want to hit him and sometimes made Steve want to kiss him, but Steve always wanted to wipe it off his face. There’s something different in it this time, uncertainty or maybe fear.

Steve can’t stand it. He raises both of his hands – so big now, large enough to cover most of Bucky’s face as he cradles it in them – and kisses Bucky for all he’s worth.

Steve is hard inside his jeans by the time they break off the kiss. He rests his forehead against Bucky’s and he’s smiling so that his face hurts. Then Bucky laughs and Steve does too. Steve starts to imagine getting to have the things he’s been missing. For once in his life, maybe he can get something he’s lost back, for keeps.

Four and a half months later they’re rolling around in Steve’s enormous bed. Bucky sleeps with Steve every night. If one of them has a nightmare they get up together. Steve makes hot chocolate or decaf coffee and they sit on the couch together. Sometimes they watch TV, other times Steve slouches until he can rest his head on Bucky’s shoulder and they just sit. Bucky makes Steve feel safe again. Safe always, and incredibly turned on most of the time.

Right now Bucky is whispering into the crook of Steve’s neck all of the things he wants to do to him, as he presses the palm of his right hand against Steve’s cock. Bucky doesn’t mention it but he doesn’t touch Steve very much with his left hand when they’re in bed. Steve has long since stopped being horrified by its shiny metal presence. He’s gotten used to it and accepted it, and lately, due either to the thrill of the forbidden or by virtue of the fact that it’s part of Bucky, he’s started to find it disturbingly hot. A couple of times Buck has used it to pin Steve’s wrists against the wall as he fucked him from behind, and Steve came so hard he saw stars. He laughs softly to himself.

“What? Why am I funny?” Buck looks amused and a little puzzled.

Steve just shakes his head, though. He doesn’t want to explain, doesn’t want to derail what’s going to happen if he plays his cards right. Steve grabs Bucky’s hips as Buck leans up over him, and shimmies down the bed a bit. Steve pulls Bucky’s boxers down and puts his face right into the curly hairs next to Bucky’s cock and inhales. He loves this. Bucky holds still.

“Well?” Bucky asks.

“Well, everything looks good down here. Good enough to …” Steve trails off.

“Don’t talk about it, do it.” It’s an order, but it’s fond.

Steve braces himself with one hand and wraps the other around the base of Bucky’s cock. He licks a circle around the head, then wets and firms up his lips, sliding up and down. Bucky’s breathing gets faster. There’s one thing that’s beautiful about being a super-soldier, Steve thinks. Pre-serum he could only do this for a couple of minutes. He’d have to stop, always apologizing and Bucky always telling him it was perfect, he was fine. He stops now, even though he could go on until Buck came down his throat. He wants something else.

Steve licks and kisses his way up Bucky’s chest until he can look him in the eyes.

“Fuck me?” Steve beams his “Captain America” smile at Bucky – the one he sports as he salutes some reporter’s video camera. It’s real then, but it’s brighter now.

“You … ask nicely.” Bucky smirks.

Steve, already naked except for his boxers, pulls them off and tosses them to the floor. He flops ungracefully back onto the bed and stretches, displaying every inch of himself utterly without shame.

“Fuck me, please?” The words are nice but Steve puts a little growl into them.

“Can’t say no to that.” Buck gets the rest of the way out of his own boxers and crawls over Steve to the nightstand. He grabs lube and a condom, puts the condom wrapper between his teeth and shakes it at Steve. Steve laughs. Bucky tosses the condom and the lube to the side of the bed.

Then Bucky is straddling Steve’s thighs, leaning over to kiss him and using his right hand to press their cocks together. Steve arches up into the kiss, he can never get enough of Bucky’s taste, never get tired of Bucky’s soft lips contrasting with the bristly stubble on his cheeks – he didn’t shave this morning.

Bucky pulls back and Steve almost whines after him, but he sees that Bucky is uncapping the lube. Steve bends his knees and props himself up on his elbows. Bucky squeezes out a puddle of lube and holds it, warming it in his hand. Steve kicks at him, lightly.

“C’mon.” Steve’s not that patient.

“Just want it to be warm. You know I look out for you.” Bucky’s expression is teasing but Steve knows he means it, every word, and all of the ones he doesn’t say, too.

Bucky spreads the lube, which has apparently reached an acceptable temperature, over his fingers. He settles himself between Steve’s legs and slowly leans in. He’s kissing Steve again and his hair is in Steve’s face. A warm hand, and pressure, and Bucky slides a finger into Steve’s ass. Bucky is careful, he treats Steve as if he was still fragile and breakable, like he’s precious. It feels like an eternity and Steve is begging by the time Buck adds a third finger and twists a little inside of him.

“I want you, want you so bad, please.” Steve gasps.

Bucky removes his fingers from Steve’s ass and opens the condom wrapper. His right hand is slippery with lube but his metal fingers are always dexterous, never faltering. He rolls the condom on and smears more lube on himself. He takes his cock in his hand and lines it up, pauses just to drive Steve crazy, and slowly, slowly, pushes.

Steve reaches down and grabs his ankles, bracing himself with his feet flat on the bed. Finally Bucky is completely inside.

“Bucky?” Steve asks.

“Right here, Steve.” Bucky replies.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Bucky must want to move but Steve knows he’d stay there, still forever, if Steve needed him to. Steve’s cock is so hard it aches, and Bucky’s filling him up, and it’s almost perfect.

“Bucky, I want it, please.” Bucky likes it when Steve asks.

“Okay, okay, I got you.” Bucky starts to press his right forearm against Steve’s throat but Steve shakes his head. “No?” Bucky asks.

“Yes. Just – use your hand. Your other hand.” Steve figures this makes him even more of a deviant than he usually is but right now he really doesn’t care.

Bucky looks surprised for a second but then he smiles and Steve knows he’s won. Bucky thrusts inside Steve a little, then draws back and snaps his hips forward, falls into Steve and catches himself. Carefully, he spreads the fingers of his left hand and wraps them around Steve’s throat. He tightens them, staring into Steve’s smiling face.

Bucky begins to thrust in a rhythm now, and it feels so damn good. Bucky adjusts his angle and his cock hits Steve’s prostate and his hand, warm from contact with Steve’s body, cuts off just a bit more of Steve’s air. Steve is floating on a cloud and getting fucked has never felt so perfect. Bucky increases the pace and Steve can’t help but pant, and he thinks he’s making noises and they’re probably ridiculous but he doesn’t fucking care. He closes his eyes and he’s pushing back against Bucky now and he wants to urge him on but of course he can’t speak. Everything is warm and soft like feathers and Steve’s pulse is pounding in his head, he’s gasping and desperate and he’s going to –

“Red! Jesus Christ, red.” Bucky’s pulling out of Steve, is scrambling away, and is kneeling on the farthest corner of the bed from Steve before Steve knows what’s happened.

Bucky sinks back onto his heels and drops his face into the palms of his hands. He’s shaking.

“Hey, Buck, it’s alright. It’s okay. What’s wrong?” Steve tries to collect himself. His voice is wrecked.

Bucky doesn’t respond, just stays frozen in place.

Steve knows something has gone sideways, but they’ve done this before and he’s not sure what’s different this time. He still feels a little hazy but the shock of Bucky’s retreat is bringing him back to reality quick and brutal. He doesn’t want to touch Bucky if Bucky doesn’t want him to, so he tries talking again.

“Bucky, whatever it is, it’s okay. We stopped, we can stop, that’s fine.”

Bucky exhales raggedly and lowers his hands from his face. He turns around and sits on the edge of the bed, facing away from Steve, his feet on the floor. His shoulders are hunched inward, defeated.

“Steve, are you okay?” He asks.

“I’m okay. I swear. Are you?” Steve tries to project calm but he’s beginning to feel rattled himself.

“Yes.” Bucky doesn’t sound so sure, though.

“Can I come over there?” Steve asks.

Bucky turns to look at Steve. “I’ll come to you, just … one minute.”

“Take your time, it’s okay. I’ll be right here.” Steve moves some pillows and leans against the headboard. He grabs an afghan that’s been shoved off to the side and tosses it over himself, with Bucky the length of a California king size bed away from him, he feels cold.

Bucky takes a few deep breaths and stands up. “I’ll be right back.” He says, and makes for the bathroom.

Steve hears the water running and when Bucky comes back out his hair is damp from where he’s splashed water on his face. Bucky’s put on Steve’s bathrobe, too, which makes Steve feel better for some reason.

Bucky crawls onto the bed and touches the corner of the afghan.

“Can I?” Bucky asks with something that’s almost a smile on his face.

“Yeah, of course. C’mere.” Steve picks up the afghan and gestures for Bucky to slip underneath it.

Bucky slides his right arm around Steve’s waist and rests his head on Steve’s chest, presses a kiss there.

“Okay, so.” Bucky says. “You are the hottest person on planet earth and I love you more than anything. I love taking you to bed and I love what we do when we’re here.”

“Alright.” Steve says, and hugs Bucky a little closer.

“Just now, it was great, but then you started making those sounds.” Bucky must feel Steve start to stiffen up because he’s shaking his head. “No, NO. Not like that.”

“Okay.” Steve says. “Not like that. Like what, then?”

“It was like before – when you used to get sick. You would wheeze and I swear to God turn blue and I would think – _this is it. This is the time where I’m going to have to watch you die._ And there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it and it was going to kill me, too.”

“Oh. Oh, no Buck.” Steve kisses Bucky’s hair, and then he does it again. “Buck, I’m okay. And so are you. That’s not gonna happen.”

“I know.” Bucky says. “I mean, I know that now. But then it was, well. You saw.”

“I did.” Steve drops another kiss on top of Bucky’s head. “And it’s okay. I’m glad you stopped.”

Bucky makes an exasperated noise, so Steve shakes him a little. “I AM glad you stopped. You know I would never hurt you, like you would never hurt me. Not how I didn’t want you to, anyway.” Steve does not giggle, but it’s a close call.

“Steven Rogers, you are a sexual deviant!” Bucky’s trying to sound scandalized.

“James Buchanan Barnes – Bucky – you are a good man.”

Steve knows that Bucky doesn’t believe him, not yet. But one of these days Steve will convince him that it’s true.


End file.
